Who is your office curmudgeon?
The most frequent questions I get when presenting leadership programs to corporate audiences are about dealing with difficult people. This is one of my favorite topics. Why? Because often your difficult people are the best people to have on the team.
Every team is going to have at least one challenging person. (Note: If you can’t identify the difficult person, it just might be you.)
Here’s my 2 question guide for dealing with difficult people.
Question #1 – Are they worth it?
If you strip away all of the personality quirks and interpersonal challenges, is this person good at their job? Are they otherwise making a solid contribution to the team?
If the answer is “No,” then we’re done here. You know what needs to be done and you don’t need me to tell you what that is. Go do it now.
If the answer is “Yes,” congratulations. Keep reading.
Question #2 – Is the difficulty internal or external to the team?
External – I call this one the rock star. In true rock star fashion, this person is excellent at their instrument. They may or may not be the lead singer. They might be the drummer who is never seen, but the underlying beat and rhythm they lay down is unmistakable. The true rock star is highly respected by the team for their knowledge and skills. Others turn to them for advice and guidance. These are fantastic people to have on your team. In the corporate world they are often called “guru” or “SME” (Subject Matter Expert).
I love rock stars. Gus, one of the characters in my act (pictured above), is patterned heavily after rock stars I’ve had on my teams. My top two methods of handling these rock stars:
a) Work with them to develop better interpersonal skills outside the team. Good luck with this. I hope you have more success with this approach than I ever did. Be patient, persistent and extremely clear in your conversations.
b) Never send them out into the world alone. If you know that interaction with others outside your group is going to be necessary, send someone else along with your SME to act as the buffer and outward interface. I’ve had repeated success with method and it is therefore my favorite. Be clear to both the SME and the person playing buffer what you are doing, why, and their specific roles. Your rock star with rough edges knows the deal. They’ll thank you for providing them a way to do their job.
Internal – I call this one the diva. The diva is also highly skilled in their job. But, they are different from the rock star in that they see the team as a supporting structure for them, personally. They insist on being in the spotlight. They often grab for the more interesting projects, thinking that since they are “the best” on the team, they should have first dibs on new projects coming into the group. They think hoarding their knowledge is a good way to ensure job security.
Outside of the team, most people do not see this behind the scenes drama playing out. All they know is this person is good at their job, asking “Can’t they be the one I work with all the time?”
I struggle with divas. Here’s the best I can suggest:
a) Work with them to adjust their behavior. Be extremely clear about how their behavior is negatively impacting the team and by extension the organization. Encourage them to become a leader within the team. Help them understand what that means – it’s not a title, it’s a behavior. Good luck.
b) Redefine job duties. If you can find a way to redefine roles and responsibilities so that this person’s natural inclination toward the spotlight can be used to benefit the team and/or the organization as a whole, do it. Sometimes this means transferring this highly skilled person to another department. It can be difficult. But, if done right, it can be a fantastic move for all.
Good luck with your difficult people. They are worth it.